We are moving into the city after years of country living. This is our first experience with a formalized homeowners association and we have some important issues. We would like the following items to be added as an addendum to our closing documents with regard to the covenants and stipulations inherent to your association.
-Your regulations state that the any satellite dish attached to the roof be no more than 18 inches in diameter. In that case, can we install 18 of them?
-Can Larry and Pete, our pet chickens, stay outdoors during daylight hours?
-Can Don Diego, our pet burrow, stay in the front yard if we install an invisible electric fence?
-Instead of being issued a security gate code, we would like to use our magical powers to enter the subdivision.
-Though we are required to have a mailbox that is identical to all others in the subdivision, are we allowed to attach a 20-foot whip antenna to it?
-Are our children allowed to tunnel under the fence into the neighbors’ yards on hot days to cool off in their pools?
-We acknowledge the fact that we cannot park any non-operable vehicles in the driveway but can we at least store a couple of transmissions and some used tires out there?
-Regarding excess noise, we will ask Junior to keep his car stereo below 104 decibels, but can’t promise he’ll do that because he has serious hearing damage and we don’t think he understands what we say anymore.
Your cooperation in this matter will be greatly appreciated as these issues are very near and dear to us.
Sherri Talley and Rufus Lemaire
P.S. We’re pretty sure we can get day passes from the nervous hospital in order to attend the loan closing. You may have to send a representative to sign us out.